If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
