when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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