I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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