I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
my poor anus
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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