You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize