I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
