Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
