woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
