giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
