If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
