Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
