My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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