I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
