why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize