when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
They have beer where we have blood.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
