when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
