just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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