I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
