kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
