Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
