Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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