I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
