He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
