I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
