Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
They took my balls.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
