No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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