His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
