so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
