her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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