During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
