Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
