Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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