What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize