batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Someone signed my nipple.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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