I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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