I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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