what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
