so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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