oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
