Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
that is very illegal...i love you.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
