just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
