On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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