so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize