C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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