super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
