went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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