we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
