Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
