I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
