hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
