I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
