Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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