So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
