when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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