paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
4 words: hood of his car
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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