margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
