doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
sex in a hospital.. check
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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