what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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