I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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