Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
