Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
