i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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