you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
