in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
