IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
