I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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