We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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