so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
