Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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