I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
