look no pants
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
