I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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