i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Barsexuality is the new black.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
