All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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