she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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