dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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