I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
