Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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