We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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