Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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