He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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