i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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