her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
