She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
