the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Randomize
