do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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