So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
