if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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