Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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