i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
