Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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