Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she smelled like a LAN party
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
